The almost-Millenial award of Ebeneezer (your faithful correspondent is a strict constructionist who reckons that the true Millenium will begin on 1 January 2001) was made in 'favor' (if that be the term) of Ian Counter.  The Southern membership is reminded that any Southern member visiting Mr. Counter's residence during the year of Ebeneezer's residence with the Counter family and finding Eb not prominently displayed for all to see can on the spot demand payment in the amount of $20 from Ian, the proceeds to be split with the SBA by action of the Treasurer, who shall be accountable for the SBA share's being added to the official SBA coffers.  The factors weighing heavily with the secret Committee that make provision for the year-to-year handling of famous Eb were the following:  Most flagrantly illegal serve (adult division); Most colorful eye; Worst Southern accent; and Best imitation of Austin Powers.  Some elaboration may be necessary for posterity, though all present were in hooting and delictable agreement with singling out Mr. Counter for the 'award'.  Ian's serve comes as near to being an overhand flick as is Robert Parrott's and indeed rivals the infamous [deleted]-flick of the formerly-active and no doubt still-redoutable Virginia Anderson.  Given Ian's umpirical aspirations, however, the flagrancy of the serve assumes almost titanic proportions.  Someone really should take some training video shots so that Ian can show them, himself as model, making an offensive shot from what is, almost uniquely in this our sport, designedly a defensive starting situation.  Ian had had some recent encounter with a door-knob, as evidenced by a lovely shiner.  One might ask Ian what his eye was doing in the proximity of the doorknob.  Ian -- or at least his consistently-used accent -- apparently had an origin somewhere in the British Isles, and despite his many years under the softening Southern linguistic influences, he still sounds kinda funny to us.  It must be remarked that in an appalling display of American poor taste, a couple of dreadful flicks (motion picture variety) have circulated widely and to someone's good financial fortune in recent years, with a bumbling spy named Austin Powers as protagonist.  Your faithful reporter is so fortunate as to have avoided seeing either of the A.P. films and is thus issuing a description of them that is wholly fabricated and unencumbered by any critical accountability.  A.P.'s character is British, one of only a very few points of similarity with our beloved Ian Counter, but it is enough of a similarity to have caused the Ebeneezer Committee's mental association.  Now also, this reporter is aghast to say, Ebeneezer's previous host, Jim Daniels, was so improvident as to have left Eb at home.  Eb did not attend the 2000 Almost-Millenial Southern Open.  He is no doubt crushed and disappointed, since he thereby missed San Antonio's River Walk and other cultural attractions sampled and enjoyed by the Southern's players.  Rev. Daniels was distraught and self-admonished to promptly ship Ebeneezer to Mr. Counter.  Ebeneezer's saga continues...